Through Accepting Limits
by HeavyDrugsOrGroupHugs
Summary: Maureen's big break. Her first Broadway show that has her flying to new heights.
1. Brave

_Come on,_ she told herself. _Come on, come on. Be brave. You can do this. You were born for this. _And it was true. Since she could remember, Maureen Johnson had lived in the spotlight. Her name, she knew, would one day be on everybody's lips. This was her shot.

Broadway. The word hung heavy in her mind. It was the ultimate success, the most brightly glowing light in Maureen's world. It scared her shitless. The thing about being a performance artist was that getting in was the easy part – she worked for herself. She told herself that she was good enough and the audience accepted. That was it. Auditioning was her greatest fear.

_Be brave._ She told herself again. _If you have confidence, they'll feel it. Connect. God, COME ON! Remember who you are! _With a deep breath, Maureen pulled open the door and stepped into a small, cool lobby. A few other actors sat around the room. Some mouthed silent words, home had their eyes closed in calming concentration. All of them held tightly to crisp, white pieces of paper; their music. _Fuck._

The one thing she'd forgotten. On the day of the biggest chance for a break she'd ever had, Maureen had forgotten her music. She glanced at the clock. Five minutes to three; five minutes to her audition. Not even Joanne could make it there that fast. Maureen considered bolting, leaving the studio, leaving her chance and fleeing the whole idea. She stood in the doorway, terrified, contemplating her fight or flight options, when a pretty blonde glanced up at her and smiled hugely. She motioned Maureen over to the seat beside her.

"Your first big audition, am I right?" asked the woman.

Maureen nodded heavily. "I'm going home," she said, her eyes suddenly spilling over with her own realization. "I forgot my music. I'd make a fool of myself if I went in there."

The other actress shook her head in disbelief. "You're really going to give up so easily? You stuck me as a brave one. Like you were born in the spotlight."

Maureen sniffed and shrugged.

The blonde woman grinned again. "I saw some of the other girls here look you over. That's good. It means you're competition." She watched Maureen's eyes flash with something other than tears at her words. "Honey, if I know anything from experience, if you walk out now, you'll never come back. Come one. Be brave."

Maureen stared at her. The woman was like her inner voice.

"You know anything a cappella?" The woman put her hand on Maureen's shoulder; it was calming. Maureen thought, and then nodded.

"Than sing! It might be a bit…unorthodox for an audition, without a piano, but it might get their attention. Don't give up before you've tried."

Maureen sniffed again.

"And stop that sniffling. You don't want your throat to close up."

Maureen smiled at the woman and took a few deep breaths. She felt that she might go overboard and start hyperventilating as the receptionist at the desk by the studio door called her name.

She stepped into the room, her heart pounding louder than her character shoe heels across the wooden floor. Four people sat at the table facing an open stage area. Maureen held her shoulders back and smiled. _Be charming_, her head told her. _Be brave._

"Your name, please?" asked the only woman at the table.

"Maureen Johnson"

The woman pulled out Maureen's headshot and set it before her. "What will you be singing, Ms. Johnson?"

Maureen swallowed hard. "My own song, Over the Moon. A cappella. "

The woman took note. "And what part are you auditioning for?"

This time Maureen smiled. "The lead."


	2. Magic

"Speeeeeaaaak!" (Beep)

"Mark, Roger. Mimi, I guess, if you're there. It's me. I- Oh my God, I got it. I got the part. I made it! I'm starring on Broadway!"

Maureen's message cut off as she laughed, a sound of utter joy, before Mark could reach the phone. Instead, he smiled at the answering machine. He'd never heard Maureen so happy. Not in the two years they were together, not even during her good phases with Joanne. Maureen's true love was the stage.

Roger hadn't even attempted to get the phone to congratulate her, though he had been close enough. Without looking up at Mark, he picked out Musetta's theme on his guitar.

"I guess this means we're going to have to go see some musical, huh?"

***

Maureen couldn't breath. "I can't do it," she said. "Oh God, what am I doing here?"

Her co-star, a tiny blonde woman in the blue gown, smiled at her. A year after Maureen's audition, the actress who had calmed her at the studio was her fellow actress calming her on opening night. It was an uncanny coincidence, but Maureen had taken it as a sign that everything was meant to fall into place.

Now, she wasn't so sure.

"Maureen, look at you."

Maureen turned to the mirror in the change room. She couldn't help but smile at the makeup caking her face.

"You are a fantastic performer. You won this part because above all others, you were the best. I know that, the cast knows that, and somewhere, you know it too. And now you get to prove it again to the people who really matter. And knowing you, you're not going to let them leave without being blown away."

Maureen turned and hugged her. She felt a serge of power flow through her, as if she really did have magic flowing through her. _And I do,_ she thought. _I have the magic to create something amazing._

***

"Oh this is so exciting! I bet she's going to be great. She's got an amazing voice. I can't wait for the show to start! Rog, what time is it? How long until it starts?"

"Hell if I know," Roger told Mimi as they slid into their seats along with Mark, Joanne and Collins. "I don't get why it's so exciting. You've seen Maureen perform a hundred times."

Mimi elbowed her boyfriend in the ribs. "_Roger,_ this is Broadway! It's like, every performer's dream. This is huge!"

From her front row seat, – courtesy of Maureen - Mimi gazed up at the stage. "I used to dream of dancing on Broadway," she confessed. "But I don't think I'm exactly what their looking for."

Joanne sat quietly in her seat. She held a bouquet in her lap. She had asked for them specially, a gesture she knew Maureen would appreciate above anything else. The flowers were green.

***

Maureen stood offstage, waiting. Her heart rested in her mouth. As she listened for her queue, Maureen took one final deep breath, and then stepped out onstage, not as Maureen Johnson, but as Elphaba Thropp.


	3. Fly

_Fly, Maureen_, she told herself as she suddenly rose high into the air. The Ozians scattered below her, Glinda looked on. Although she had practiced so often, spending days just going up and down, the feeling of rising in the harness had always made Maureen's stomach drop.

Not tonight.

**So if you care to find me, look to the western sky!  
As someone told me lately: "Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"**

_Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly_, she repeated in her head. _I got my chance. I'm living it!_

**And nobody in all of Oz  
No Wizard that there is or was  
Is ever gonna bring me down!**

It was so powerful, the feeling of accomplishment, that Maureen's voice broke through the lights and smoke spilling over the stage. She looked out, holding her last note, and her eyes fell upon five people in the front row. She swept her arms out in a final gesture of, well, defiance, and the stage went black. Slowly, a screen lowered, hiding the cast from view, and Maureen was lowered down to the floor. Calmly, she unhooked herself from the contraption, and slowly, she glided across the dark stage. In the wings, she moved with purpose and flung herself into the arms of her director.

"Thank you," she told him

***

"Oh, Joanne, she's amazing!" crooned Mimi. "You must be so proud of her."

Joanne could only nod her head, trance-like. During the last number of the first act, she had started crying. Maureen's presence on stage was the most astounding thing she's ever seen. Sure, he protests had been good, and Joanne sometimes just stopped short to listen to Maureen sing in the shower. But this, the energy that Maureen put into her performance was unlike anything Joanne had ever seen.

"The show's good," said Roger, sounding slightly stunned, as though he had been expecting less. "I mean, the Fiyero guy? I could play him. The actor's got a great voice."

Mimi smacked him hard. "Roger, what about your _friend_?"

Roger grinned. "I wouldn't mind becoming good friends with that Glinda. Man."

Mimi hit him harder.

***

Elphaba stared into Glinda's eyes.

**And because I knew you...  
Because I knew you...  
Because I knew you...  
I have been changed for good.**

The audience let out a collective sigh. The two actresses, the green-skinned girl and the beautiful blonde one folded into each others embrace like two pieces of a puzzle. The applause was deafening.

***

Maureen stepped out the stage door, after the green paint had been removed, as if by magic, by her special facial soap. She was hit by what felt like a torpedo. A tongue was forced down her throat, and Maureen had to do a double take to make sure it was Joanne.

"Oh, Maureen," chocked Joanne, before kissing her girlfriend again. Eventually, Joanne backed off enough for the others to surround her.

"Maureen, you're amazing! You have to sing me the No Good Deed song again. It was stunning," said Mimi, bouncing on her toes.

"I always knew you were a witch," grinned Collins.

"It was fantastic, Mo. Really good. I hope someone filmed it," said Mark.

Roger smiled at her ruefully. "Hey, Maureen, you think you could get me a role in the show somewhere? I don't need to be a lead right away, but you think you could pull a few strings?"

Maureen beamed and hugged Roger, something that didn't happen often. "Well, Rog, everyone deserves the chance to fly."


	4. Trust

Maureen was late. Again. There was nothing wrong, of course, with basking in the light of new found fame, and celebrating with fellow stars of the theatre. Nothing wrong, that is, unless you happen to be Maureen.

One a.m. Maureen's shows were always done by ten; take half an hour for the green makeup to be professionally removed and ten minutes to get back home. 11 o'clock tops, and Maureen was late. Joanne paced in a way she hadn't for months. Since Maureen's rehearsal schedule began, the drama queen (literally!) came home each night, elated but exhausted. For once, Joanne let her guard down: no energy for Joanne meant no energy for anyone else. But now, as a celebrity, Maureen seemed to step out of her fatigue and into the world of glamour, a world that drinks one too many cups of coffee and doesn't feel tired anymore. Could she – with whom at that very moment?

One thirty, Maureen finally heard the cue line Joanne had been calling for hours and stepped in the door.

"Hey, Pookie. You're up late."

Joanne ignores the statement, the words that seemed so ironic to her.

"Who is it?"

Maureen just stared at her.

"Come on, Maureen. I'm not dim. A co-star? Someone from makeup? An ensemble member?"

"Pookie-"

"Maureen, I'm sick of this!"

Maureen's eyes glittered with tears. "So am I," she said, and backed out the door.

Joanne collapsed on the couch and allowed herself to cry. _She's found someone else, _she thought. _She's found another woman and this time…this time, I'm not that girl._

***

"Mark?"

"Hey, Joanne, you ok?" Mark asked over the phone.

"I don't know. Mark, when Maureen was…when she was cheating on you – with me – well, you never confronted her, did you?"

"No, I didn't."

"And she left you anyways." Joanne winced as she heard Mark sigh on the other end of the line. Still, she has to know.

"What did you do when it happened?" she asked softly.

"To be honest? I sat around all day watching old footage of us. You should have seen Roger and me. This place was kind of wallowing in misery."

"Mark…do you think, if you'd confronted her about it, things would have been different?"

"I don't know, Joanne. I think she was pretty crazy about you. She still is."

Joanne snorted bitterly. "I wouldn't count on that. She walked out on me last night, after coming home hours late from who knows where. She probably went right back into Glinda's bed or something."

"Joanne, she wouldn't do that to you. She _didn't _do that to you. Joanne, she came here last night. She seemed pretty upset, so we let her sleep on the couch. She's even called her understudy; she says she can't perform tonight."

"She – what?"

"Do you want to talk to her?" asked Mark, and Joanne nodded mechanically although Mark could not see her. Even so, Maureen's voice, quiet and hesitant, filled Joanne's ear.

"Pookie."

"Maureen, I think…I think I made a mistake. I just want to know: what were you doing last night?"

"Oh, baby, I should have called you. We were meeting with fans at the stage door. I didn't think it would take that long, but we must have been there for an hour and a half. Afterwards, Kyle invited us to get a drink, and baby, I though of you and I would have called, but it was past midnight and I know you don't like waiting up for me for too long. I thought you would have gone to bed."

"You were just…getting a drink?"

"Yes, Pookie, with my cast. Nothing happened between me and _anyone._ I promise."

"You – but, you didn't call…"

"Oh, baby, I know. I'm so sorry. I know I'm irresponsible. You worry, but Pookie…you have to trust me. You have to."

"I…I do," Joanne realized suddenly. "I believe you."

"I'll be home soon, ok, Pookie?"

"Please do. I'm going to try to make this up to you," said Joanne.

Maureen giggled. "That I am looking forward to. And Pookie? This time you _should_ wait up."


	5. Promise

**So, I've had requests for a little Gelphie...so here's something to satisfy. I'm trying to forcus more on RENT than Wicked.**

* * *

Joanne dropped Maureen off at the stage door one afternoon before a show. A few actors trickled in as Joanne held Maureen's hand tightly.

"Break a leg tonight," she whispered. Joanne had learned, after one fiery outburst from Maureen, that 'good luck' was not at all acceptable.

"I'm not superstitious," Maureen had told her, "but I know to never mention The Scottish Play in the theatre and you say 'break a leg' and never 'good luck.'"

Joanne kissed Maureen goodbye and turned to walk towards the street just as Alix, a chorus member and Glinda understudy, reached the stage door.

"Your girlfriend, right?" she asked Maureen, watching Joanne turn onto the road.

"Yeah," Maureen smiled.

"Why doesn't she ever come in?"

The cast members were always bringing their partners backstage. Some were actors themselves and were perfectly comfortable there; others stared in awe at their surroundings, snapping pictures and clinging to their host.

Joanne never went backstage. Maureen had offered, but J had merely shaken her head.

"I think she's intimidated by theatre people," Maureen told Alix.

"Well, what about you? You're the queen of theatre at the moment."

Maureen grinned. "I intimidate her more than anyone."

"What's it like?" blurted Alix, suddenly more serious. "Being in a lesbian relationship? I mean-" She blushed. "I'm just curious about it, because I've never really known anyone who… But if you'd rather not –"

Maureen chuckled kindly. "Honey, it's fine. I like talking about it. It's a story that never gets old to me. See, I never really knew that I could be into women. I had a boyfriend and everything around the time I met Joanne. But I realized that you don't fall in love with the gender, you fall in love with the person. It didn't matter that I fell for a woman."

"Is there really so little difference?" asked Alix.

"Well," Maureen grinned, "women are much better kissers."

"Oh yeah?" said Alix softly, and took a step towards Maureen, pressing their lips together.

Maureen felt rooted. Out of habit, her lips started to move. But the taste in her mouth, despite Alix's strawberry lip-gloss, was bitter. She pushed away.

"I promised," she said. "I promised Joanne that nothing would happen. With anyone."

Alix looked shaken. _She's just a kid,_ Maureen told herself. Alix, at 23, looked just about 13 again.

"It was…a mistake," she told Maureen. "I should have never…I'm sorry. God. I'm sorry."

Maureen shook her head, dismissing the apology, but also trying to shake the numb feeling off.

"Break a leg," she said to Alix before ducking into the theatre, escaping.

* * *

**For those wondering, I'm planning one more chapter following this one. **


	6. Limitless

**So, this is the final part. I hope you enjoy it. It has been a pleasure writing for you.**

* * *

Maureen stared at herself in the full length mirror. Compared to her floor length lavender gown, the white bathroom seemed bland around her. Carefully, she shaped her hair into a sleek bun, and opened her jewelry case. Nothing inside of it screamed to be worn; nothing seemed to go perfectly with the dress, with the occasion

_Wonderful._

Slowly, Maureen opened the door and stepped out into the hallway of her apartment. Joanne stood in the living room, wearing a simple, elegant black dress. Maureen's heart leapt and sunk into her stomach. Seeing Joanne ready for the evening made it so much more real.

"Pookie…I'm nervous."

Joanne crossed the room to Maureen and pulled her tightly into an embrace. Maureen inhaled the soft, slightly spicy smell of Joanne's hair, and her nerves subsided a little.

"Honeybear, you know that tonight is your night, no matter what."

Maureen nodded like a child, trying not to break down. Of all nights, _this _was the night she got scared?

"I have something for you," said Joanne softly as she picked up a narrow box from the table and handed it to Maureen. Maureen held the velvet box for a moment before opening it. A beautiful dark pendent on a long silver chain lay inside. Maureen's mouth opened as she stared at it. Carefully, Joanne picked it up, stepped behind Maureen and fastened it around her neck.

Maureen felt a slight pull; the pendent was heavy, but for some reason, she held her head higher than she had all night. She turned to Joanne and kissed her with as much love as she could manage.

"I'm ready," she said.

***

"And the 2004 Tony for Best Actress in a Musicals goes to….Maureen Johnson, Wicked!"

She couldn't help it. Maureen burst into tears. She squeezed Joanne's hand so tightly that Joanne would have winced, had she not been squeezing back.

Slowly, Maureen rose to her feet and held a bunched up portion of her skirt in her hand, trying her damndest not to trip as she mounted the stairs to the stage. She could see people rising to their feet, she could see Joanne crying into her hands, and somewhere beyond the theatre, she could see her friends, in the loft, jumping and hugging each other.

A voice overhead recounted her success. "Maureen Johnson takes home her first Tony Award, playing the part of Elphaba in the original musical, Wicked. This is her Broadway debut."

In a haze, Maureen accepted the award from the presenter and stepped up to the microphone, waiting for the roaring applause to die down.

"Thank you," she chocked out, he voice thick with tears.

"I LOVE YOU!" someone shouted in the audience.

Maureen smiled and waved. "I love you too!" she called.

Eventually, the cheering died down and Maureen regained control of herself.

"It is the greatest honor," she said, "for an actress, so new to Broadway's stage, to be even considered for this award." A cheer rose up again, and Maureen swallowed back tears. "When I was a little girl, my parents would take me to musicals, and I'd look up at the strong, beautiful, talented women in the shows and I would think, 'That's gonna be me.' And now, it is." Something broke loose inside of her. More tears splashed down her face. "I'd like to thank my director, the producer, the cast; everyone involved with the show for making what it is, because without the makeup designers and the tech people and the fabulous, fabulous actors, I'm just a woman playing dress-up. I want to thank my parents, my big sister; and I want to thank my friends, Collins, Mimi, Roger, and Mark. And I want to thank my friend Angel, who would have been my biggest fan, and I know she had something to do with this. And of course, I want to thank Joanne, the most beautiful woman in the world and the love of my life. I love you."

_That's it, _Maureen thought, as she walked off into the wings with the award presenters. _I'm limitless. _

* * *

**I hope you liked that. Maureen's Tony's outfit (including the necklace) was based on what Idina wore when she accepted her award. A lot of this chapter was based on Idina's win, although I obviously altered her speech. Idina's makes me cry every time I watch it, so that's where I'm sending you next, dear reader...right after you review, of course.**


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